Gimme a job!

I am looking for a job. But who isn't? There sure are about a zillion graduates from all over India (and Bangladesh too, these days) who are doing the same in Bombay, probably with a lesser success rate than mine. This unfortunately doesn't affect (positively) my ridiculous impatience. It's been just 15 days since I started, but I wonder why people think twice before hiring me. Just in case any prospective employer is reading this, here are a few good reasons why I ought to join you zealous high fliers on MISSION: GET RICH AND GET A LIFE -

- I communicate (written and oral, excellent extempore skills as well) far more effectively than 90% of the people on this planet can even dream of, and hence when I take over only 10% of the world would have to talk. (Aside – I’d rather they shut up as well). Moral of the story? – ACCOMPLISHED JOURNALIST NIKHIL INAMDAR BRINGS DOWN NOISE POLLUTION BY 90% AND IMPROVES BUSINESS FOR ENT SURGEONS.. Result? (Effortless fulfillment of 'Corporate Social Responsibility' )

- You would have guessed by now that modesty isn’t my best friend. But who needs that in a world where each is trying to oust the other by the inch? My success rate in this as well would be higher than the others. After all I am twice their size. This facet (the size) of mine is another point of consideration. If a fat guy is hired he has more chances of popping it earlier or at least falling ill from time to time. Finally the ‘Company Insurance Benefit’ for which you guys so royally rip employers apart, would come of use.

FINE!!!!!!

If none of these unreservedly logical reasons appeal to you, HIRE ME SO THAT I CAN PAY MY NEXT MONTH’S RENT!